Attack of the hounds from hell!

Hey guys,
Well, guess what I got another FLAT TIRE today! We went and did the Volcanoes Nat'l park gig and checked out the steam vents and the caldera and all that fun stuff. There was alot of sulfur coming off the volcano and the gas it produces is both noxious and obnoxious (smelling) so we didn't hang around all that long. Also, some of the roads were closed due to the gas, so that was a bit limiting. As it is now, the only flowing lava is in a remote area where there is no access except by air, and no lava is currently flowing into the ocean, so that's not as exciting as it might be.

On the way back home we dediced to drive up Orchidland road and when we got to a place to turn around all of the sudden these two dogs start running across the property towards us. Im thinking OH, nice doggies they must think their master is home and are coming to greet him...NOT! These were hard core attack dogs and looked like about the meanest dogs i've ever seen. We were in the van and had the windows rolled up by the time they got there, but DAMN, they were jumping at Heidi and then started biting the tires of the van! I don't know if it's a coincidence or not, but the same tire that the biggest nastiest dog was biting is the one that got a flat. Heidi was like "be careful" to not hit the dogs as I was doing my 3 point turn to get out of there, and I was like "Hell with that! We outta here!" It would have done those dogs some good to get a little hit from a car. So, when we got back to the gas station after we got MORE icecream for the girls (and us of course) a blg 'ole flat tire. Lucky for me, I'm now an old pro at changing minvan flat tires, so we were out of there in about 10 minutes. Back to the airport to switch out the van again! First I got a mean old local gal named "Pinky" (true story) and she was slamming the pen down, telling me to fill out this and that...eww. I just HATE that treatment. Finally, a nice person at the counter came and took over for her and we were all good after that. I wonder if I'll see any additional charges on my bill from that...who knows.

So, here's another funny story. Over at Kalapana yesterday we ran into an old haole dude selling organic fruit for $.50 a pound which we bought about 10 lbs. of. I asked him about this fruit that I saw some Locals harvesting off a tree and he let me know that it's called Noni fruit and is medicinal, which of course peaked my interest. Apparently Hawaiians have been using it for hundreds of years to cure things ranging from cancer to chronic pain. He showed me how is smells like dirty socks and how a "naturopath" was eating the thing like an apple recently but looked really "healthy." Then he pointed us to a factory nearby and we stopped off and got the speil and I walked out with a 32 oz bottle and some caplets. So, here's the funny part. This stuff is about the nastiest tasting stuff on the planet...sort of a "no pain no gain" thing I guess. I gave Heidi her shot of it this am and she characterized is as "Like drinking a fart." (her exact words, my friends.) I sort of have to agree with her. She looked it up on the web and found that it is sometimes also known as "vomit fruit." LOL. So, i'll be having my second shot of the day here in a bit... hell, it was $8 for that bottle and i'll be darned if I'll let it go to waste! Hopefully it will cure my chronic pain in my hip.

Oh, and did I mention how prophetic Jim Kelley is? Our place here is completely surrounded by Coquee Frogs. Now the rumor has it that the chirping is only done by the males to call out to the females to come "spend a little quality froggy time" with the Mr. The first night I was listening to them (pretty much all night) and it seemed like one by one they "hooked up" and quit chirping kookee kookee. But there was this one dude...man I actually felt bad for him. Like the desperate guy at the bar, holding out for the last available gal and she takes off with someone else...yet he stays, thinking that, against all odds, someone will show up at the last minute to appease his male yearnings. Well, I don't think he did, 'cause it seemed like the chirping never ended until he dragged his sorry ass all the way back to whatever hole he crawled out of in the first place. Now i'm not being mean, I really heard from our waiter the other night that they live in holes in the ground and sleep there during the day. Another thing I noticed is that sometimes they make a different jittery noice, which all I can assume is that the are giggling with the girlie frog that they hooked up with, or they are laughing at all the other males that are still chirping. To me, the untrained ear, though it would seem like all the guys are saying exactly the same thing. Now, most of us would have to harken way back to a different age, but ladies, wouldn't it have been BORING if all the guys that walked up to you in the bar said EXACTLY the same thing, like "Hey Baby, i'm not just hot i'm Kookee Kookee." Jim, did you already know the Coquee Frog had infested the Puna area of the Big Island?
Peace out. B.